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Emotional regulation is something we learn over time. As babies and young children, we depend on caring adults to co-regulate with us; soothing us, helping us make sense of our feelings, and creating a safe and nurturing environment where we eventually learn to calm ourselves.   But what happens when you're an adult who struggles with emotional dysregulation? Many adults unconsciously reject the support they need, especially when overwhelmed. This can be so destructive in interpersonal relationships, especially marriages if they are blaming their spouse or support system for their own inability to manage themselves impeding communication and understanding. Emotional dysregulation is easier to notice in children than in ourselves.   ## What Emotional Dysregulation Looks Like in Adults Adults can lose their temper, feel overwhelmed, or become reactive while expecting children to remain calm. Emotional dysregulation is a nervous system response—not a moral failing—but we must learn to recognize it. Two processes are often happening at once; our bodies are overwhelmed and our thoughts. ## Why Knowing Your Triggers Matters During overwhelm, your prefrontal cortex disconnects (Dr. Dan Siegel's “flipped lid”) . In this state, thinking clearly or using coping skills becomes difficult.   ## Step One: Recognize Your Body's Signals Notice early cues like: • Heart racing • Sweating • Tension • Shallow breathing • Feeling hot or agitated   These signals indicate you're heading toward dysregulation and are different for everyone.   ## Co-Regulation for Adults Adults also need safe relationships to regulate their nervous systems. Therapy can help you: • Understand emotional patterns • Identify root causes • Build accessible coping tools • Improve emotional awareness   Emotional dysregulation is not weakness—it is a nervous system trying to protect you. The overwhelming thoughts that led to the dysregulation to begin with may be your brain trying to protect you too. *More next week on the topic adult support for emotional dysregulation

Do you ever wonder how your child’s cellphone is influencing their mood and connection to the family? Many parents share this concern — how much time their child spends online, what they’re doing on their phones, and how it affects face-to-face relationships. These are important questions, but there’s another one that often goes overlooked: What does my own phone use communicate to my child? So often, we unintentionally model the very behaviors we’re hoping to change. We scroll to decompress, respond to work messages, or check social media without realizing how present our devices are in daily family life. While it’s rarely intentional, our actions can send the message that screens matter more than connection. Recently, I met with a parent whose teen described feeling disconnected. The teen had invited Mom to go to a café together — a small gesture to reconnect. Mom agreed, but Mom struggled to put phone away. The teen noticed, and later shared that it felt discouraging. She admitted her own phone use had become “toxic,” but she wanted a reason to put it down — she wanted to connect. Teens won’t always ask directly for closeness; instead, they communicate through behavior. What looks like attitude, defiance, or withdrawal is often a cue: “I miss you.”  When we notice those cues and respond with presence instead of correction, we open the door for reconnection. If you’re noticing disconnection in your relationship with your teen, parent coaching can help you rebuild understanding, set healthy boundaries around technology, and model the balance you hope to see in your child. Reach out to learn more about how Calm Mind Therapy can help you reconnect — both on and off the screen.📞 (626) 415-7505 📧 tonya@calmmindtherapy.online 🌐 www.calmmindtherapy.online

I my opinion ADHD is a superpower without a cape! The key to your child's success is their understanding of ADHD and how to work with the power in addition to the adults around them. Great article published online by nea National Education Association https://www.nea.org/nea-today/all-news-articles/how-support-students-adhd?utm_source=neatoday&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=20251022_newsletter&ms=email_neatoday_20251022_newsletter We are eager to assist you in navigating educational supports for your child, along with providing helpful parenting tips and resources. Feel free to call us or fill out our contact form to get in touch.

As parents, we can often sense when our children are struggling. We notice the changes—withdrawal, irritability, lack of motivation—and we take-action. Maybe we find a therapist to support them in managing anxiety, mood, or life transitions. It’s a caring and important step. But sometimes, even with that support in place, things still feel hard at home. You might wonder why communication feels tense, or why your child resists your efforts to help. That’s when parent coaching  can make a meaningful difference. When Helping Our Kids Isn’t Enough Parenting an adolescent or pre-teen is one of the most complex and tender parts of the parenting journey. Our children are developing independence and identity, and their emotions can shift quickly. As parents, we can become so focused on supporting them that we forget to reflect on our own role  and what we might need to navigate this stage successfully. Parent coaching offers a supportive space to pause and understand what’s happening beneath the surface. It’s not about judgment or “fixing” your parenting—it’s about understanding, reconnecting, and learning new ways to foster closeness and communication. Reconnecting With the Parent You Hoped to Be When we first imagined becoming parents, most of us held beautiful hopes for the kind of parent we wanted to be—calm, compassionate, engaged. Yet life’s pace can be relentless. Work demands, school schedules, and family responsibilities can turn even the most loving parent into a “tasking parent”—one who’s checking boxes but feeling disconnected. Parent coaching helps you rediscover what matters most. It offers space to realign with your values and bring connection back to the heart of family life. What You Can Expect From Parent Coaching Parent coaching is personalized to your family’s needs. It offers insight, encouragement, and practical strategies you can use right away. Together, we may focus on: Strengthening trust and communication Understanding your child’s emotional world Managing conflict with calm and empathy Creating predictable routines and structure Restoring balance between limits and connection Through this process, parents often rediscover confidence in their role and a renewed sense of partnership within the family. Bringing Connection Back Home Parenting doesn’t come with a manual—and that’s okay. Every family faces challenges, but you don’t have to face them alone. Parent coaching provides a safe and supportive environment to reflect, grow, and build stronger connections at home. If you’d like to learn how parent coaching can support your relationship with your child, reach out to Calm Mind Therapy  to schedule a consultation. Together, we can help you create a calmer, more connected home. Recommended read: The Power of Showing Up By: Daniel Siegel, M.D. and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D.