When the Phone Gets in the Way: Reconnecting Beyond the Screen

Do you ever wonder how your child’s cellphone is influencing their mood and connection to the family? Many parents share this concern — how much time their child spends online, what they’re doing on their phones, and how it affects face-to-face relationships. These are important questions, but there’s another one that often goes overlooked:

What does my own phone use communicate to my child?

So often, we unintentionally model the very behaviors we’re hoping to change. We scroll to decompress, respond to work messages, or check social media without realizing how present our devices are in daily family life. While it’s rarely intentional, our actions can send the message that screens matter more than connection.

Recently, I met with a parent whose teen described feeling disconnected. The teen had invited Mom to go to a café together — a small gesture to reconnect. Mom agreed, but Mom struggled to put phone away. The teen noticed, and later shared that it felt discouraging. She admitted her own phone use had become “toxic,” but she wanted a reason to put it down — she wanted to connect.

Teens won’t always ask directly for closeness; instead, they communicate through behavior. What looks like attitude, defiance, or withdrawal is often a cue: “I miss you.” When we notice those cues and respond with presence instead of correction, we open the door for reconnection.

If you’re noticing disconnection in your relationship with your teen, parent coaching can help you rebuild understanding, set healthy boundaries around technology, and model the balance you hope to see in your child.

Reach out to learn more about how Calm Mind Therapy can help you reconnect — both on and off the screen.📞 (626) 415-7505 📧 tonya@calmmindtherapy.online

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